I recently visited an old childhood friend and his two lovers in San Francisco for a Memorial Day weekend getaway.  Their names are Sam, Eddie, and Gustavo and they call themselves "The Three Bears" for obvious reasons- they're big, they're hairy, and it suits them.

They live in an eclectic three-story, somewhat indescribable looking Victorian house in the Mission District- part barn, part designer, part cathedral, and part garage sale ghetto glamour.  Their home is also home to every animal you've ever lost that they've found. This includes four cats- Thomas J. Cat Esq. (one very cranky old cat), Girl George (every animal family needs at least one token transgendered black cat), Bubba Mack (my furry little nighttime snuggle buddy), Cleetus Jones Jr. (he was my nighttime snuggle buddy the last time I was in San Francisco, but apparently he's decided I'm old news now), and two dogs- Mr. Precious Dog (he IS precious) and Princess Lola Pearl Von Butterball (so cute, but yet so SPOILED ROTTEN).

 

I consider their home to be my "home away from home" when I visit the city and they're the perfect hosts in that they really do their best to make sure that I'm comfortable and entertained. They put up with my picky eating habits. They accept the fact that I can be somewhat high-maintenance and slightly directionally challenged at times. They also do their best to overlook that fact when giving me directions to the nearest happening bar after I've exhausted their patience at whatever bar we've already spent a good amount of time at.  In other words, they basically party with me 'til they've had enough, but they always make sure that my party keeps on going!  This trip was no exception.

 

I started my vacation by taking BART into the city from the Oakland Airport.  The ease of transportation in San Francisco always makes me realize just how crappy L.A.'s transportation system is.  Within an hour I had made my way from the airport to their house and aside from a short mishap getting on the wrong train- I barely had to think about it to make my way right to their doorstep.  We ate a nice dinner, had some cocktails at home and I settled in for a bit before we headed out to a local art movie house to see the Brazilian film, The Other Side of the Street.  It was OK.  Subtitles usually really get me down, but I managed to make my way through this flick with my sanity intact.

 

The next morning, I awoke to the sounds of Carnaval taking place on the street behind their house.  The loudspeakers of the festivities faded in and out like a bad acid trip and lured us over for a late breakfast of pepperoni pizza, chicken strips, and garlic fries.

Later that afternoon it was time to party... Make that a pie party!  I met a fairly large group of people from the Love Cursed Tribe for some good conversation and an assortment of pies, tarts and cakes.  When love gets you down, eat pie!  That's sort of how these pie parties came about and the San Francisco pie party was a great success!  It was so cool to meet some of the various people I've been commiserating with online over the last year and the pie was out of this world!  The only thing missing from this special outing was my dear friend, Stefania, who's entirely responsible for all things 'Love Cursed'.

That evening the three bears and I ventured out to "Drunk and Horny" at the Underground SF to take part in birthday festivities for a cute and charming little guy named Mikey!  We danced... We drank... We eventually ventured out to a slightly scary after-party at somebody's house where I (along with everybody else) urinated in the sink and bathtub because there was no toilet. That wasn't the first time in my life I've had to do that and it probably won't be my last- it's those completely trashy moments that I cherish in life...

As the days went on, I continued to go out to various clubs and drink night after night... My recollection of events is a little cloudy, but I know I had lots of fun! 

At the Lone Star, I met the "Ginger Bears" for the second time and that could have easily evolved into a story all it's very own, but it didn't... Maybe next time! 

I went to Trannyshack at the Stud Bar hoping to see my friend Trixxie with no luck, but ran into an old friend from Salt Lake- Princess Kennedy.  At midnight during the show, I witnessed a gothic drag queen toting an entire bottle of Jose Cuervo doing a fairly entertaining rendition of Walking on Sunshine. I also watched in horror as a jockstrap-clad man with a Mexican wrestling mask did a lip sync to I Wanna Hold Your Hand that was reminiscent of, yet went way beyond something I once saw watching John Water's Pink Flamingos.  It's really all just too shocking to mention in detail so just use your imagination...

In my daytime travels with the boys through the Castro, I inadvertently stole somebody's Venti Caramel Frappuccino from Starbucks due to a slight miscommunication. Although I'm not much of a coffee drinker, I must say that stolen Frappuccinos really do taste better!

Aside from my time out at night and despite what little time was left after I would work my way out of bed and through my morning hangover, I did manage to spend one full day shopping in the Haight. It was the first time I had been there since I was a teenager and it seemed almost frozen in time as it was exactly how I remembered it. I couldn't believe that DalJeets was still there and I must have spent at least an hour at Kid Robot checking out all of the cool little figurines.

Overall, I had a really great memorable time on vacation. And to top my vacation off- Eddie made me my very own homemade strawberry pie baked with extra love and it was absolutely delicious!  It was so nice to spend some time with Sam and the other boys and I really enjoyed my time there in general...  I can't wait for my next big San Francisco adventure! 

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